Jewish Marriage: Kidushin

Jewish Marriage: Kidushin

Jewish marriage (kidushin) is a sacred institution that reflects the covenant between God and Israel. The word kidushin comes from "kadosh" (holy) — the act of setting apart and sanctifying the couple for each other.

Erusin and Nissuin

Historically, marriage consisted of two stages:

Erusin (betrothal): The initial ceremony where the groom gives the ring to the bride and recites: "Harei at mekudeshet li b'taba'at zo k'dat Moshe v'Yisrael" ("Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel"). In ancient times, erusin was legally binding and required a get (divorce) to dissolve.

Nissuin (full marriage): Originally occurred up to a year after erusin. Today both stages are performed together in the same ceremony under the chuppah.

The Ketubah

The ketubah is the Jewish marriage contract, written in Aramaic, that specifies the husband's obligations to his wife: provision, clothing, housing, and conjugal relations. It also establishes a monetary amount the wife would receive in case of divorce or the husband's death.

• Traditional: Signed by two witnesses, given to the bride, and read during the ceremony.
• Conservative: Includes the Lieberman clause (allowing the rabbinic court to dissolve the marriage if the husband refuses to give a get).
• Reform: May be an egalitarian text, often in English/Hebrew, reflecting mutual commitments.

Chuppah

The chuppah is the wedding canopy under which the ceremony takes place. It symbolizes the home the couple will build together. Traditionally it is a cloth held up by four poles, often decorated. The chuppah is open on all four sides, like Abraham's tent, a symbol of hospitality.

Sheva Berakhot — The Seven Blessings

The seven blessings are recited over a cup of wine at the end of the ceremony. They celebrate:

1. The creation of wine
2. The creation of the world
3. The creation of humanity
4. The creation of humanity in the divine image
5. The joy of Zion
6. The joy of the couple
7. The final blessing uniting all the above

Breaking the Glass

At the end of the ceremony, the groom (or both partners in egalitarian ceremonies) breaks a glass wrapped in a napkin by stepping on it. This recalls the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem and reminds us that even in moments of greatest joy, we remember the fragility of the world.

Yichud

After the ceremony, the couple spends a few moments alone (yichud) in a closed room. This symbolizes their new life together and, legally, consummates the marriage.

Family Purity (Taharat Hamishpachah)

In Orthodox tradition, the couple observes the laws of niddah (separation during menstruation) and the ritual bath in the mikveh before resuming relations. Conservative and Reform movements have more flexible approaches, from optional to symbolically reinterpreted.

Egalitarian Marriage

Reform, Conservative (since 2012), and Reconstructionist movements perform same-sex marriages, adapting texts and rituals to reflect the couple's equality.

Divorce (Get)

Jewish divorce requires a get (divorce document) delivered by the husband to the wife. Without a get, a woman is an agunah (anchored woman) and cannot remarry according to Orthodox halakhah.

"He who finds a wife finds good" (Proverbs 18:22).